sigh :\

where are you...how are you...are you alright...are you feeling well and happy...i want to know that you're doing ok and safe...

hmm.

just finished my essay report.



well, someday..sometime... self-cheering batteries are almost exhausted. oh nos. D: sadface

argh

dilemma. dilemma. didn't really have much appetite for the whole week. a week of 3 meals per day at HTA, i think i only ate about 4 meals througout this week only? but nvm...

returned from interview and my, it was extremely tense back there. my heart was already pounding when i was only outside the door. overall, i think the whole thing went well..can't reveal much. OSA. lol

i really do hope the worst case scenario will not happen.

Du Lan

slept pretty late last night, woke up around 12. headed down with the gang to PKS at Guang Ming Shan to steal some brunch. there was some farewell event going on so we just went in and "herher, hi, oh hi hi" grabbed some food, went out of the hall to grill the mushrooms. the packet of vegetarian butter that was originally full, was reduced to the size of a mobile phone by the time we were done with our grilling.

haha, went off in zhemins car after that. there wasn't enough space so i volunteered for the car boot. pretty fun, cept for the limited air in which i had to control my breathing. i thought i had Claustrophobia, turns out it was actually interesting to me. LOL

the whole ride in the boot was peaceful, until we came to the hump and i was like #@$%.
signed up for library premium membership. why? just cos i can loan games from bishan libray. LOL.


i will change, i must change. i want you back. i need you.

exhausted, but can't say i'm exhausted

while i'm down here trying to relax, there are people out there working their asses off so i realise i shouldn't complain about anything.

fridays going to be our posting day, a van will ferry us to our divisions. wonder how long they're going to keep us there.

nothing much today, except for visitors at my house and the usual, feeling upset ._.
hope things will go out fine.

damit, learn from your gawd dam mistakes mr pear. argh.

the insensitive me

facts about me: some things, i only fear when it actually happens or theres the possibility of it taking place.


i found out how such of a bastard i am and shes right, i am a jerk and a bastard.
i shall be responsible for my own actions and i will make sure that i change for good. at least, for my own sake.

gawd, i'm feeling like a maggot.

i must be strong. wait, i am strong

c'mon guys, do some good, THEY need your blood!

returned from visiting the Cho's. weird dogs who disregarded my presence and xiaoheis. lol adorable kids, till she cries when xiaohei was able to do more spins on the hoola-hoops than her.

=.=



17th Jan '09 went for SBMY's post-camp orientation. here, we have a photo of zhenglin's fatherly behaviour. too bad it didn't show me carrying him afterwards. hahaha





22nd Jan '09 P.O.P parade, the day which we have been waiting for since the day of our enlistment (next, ORD?) almost everyone were making last minute preparations...for me, polishing my boots :D




i'm loving you still. i will change for the better.

reminisce

thinking back on all the things i've done, i seriously do need help on handling things.
as promised to myself, i'm going to do a deep search into my own personality and find my own faults. it has caused too much problems and made me lose the most important thing in my life.

i don't wish it to happen anymore, also i want to salvage everything.

till then, i'm a silent cop.

feeling black

happy chinese new year!

went over to gramps for Bainianing. haha its the first time i felt so close to them. i think one becomes more sensible towards the importance of the family tree as he or she grows older.
had my grandads famous Kong Ba Pau. been waiting longggggggggg for it.

anyway, my emotions are still black at them moment. :D
360 degrees change. x))

sigh

i'm still feeling miserable. ):