while i'm down here trying to relax, there are people out there working their asses off so i realise i shouldn't complain about anything.
fridays going to be our posting day, a van will ferry us to our divisions. wonder how long they're going to keep us there.
nothing much today, except for visitors at my house and the usual, feeling upset ._.
hope things will go out fine.
damit, learn from your gawd dam mistakes mr pear. argh.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
the insensitive me
facts about me: some things, i only fear when it actually happens or theres the possibility of it taking place.
i found out how such of a bastard i am and shes right, i am a jerk and a bastard.
i shall be responsible for my own actions and i will make sure that i change for good. at least, for my own sake.
gawd, i'm feeling like a maggot.
i found out how such of a bastard i am and shes right, i am a jerk and a bastard.
i shall be responsible for my own actions and i will make sure that i change for good. at least, for my own sake.
gawd, i'm feeling like a maggot.
i must be strong. wait, i am strong
c'mon guys, do some good, THEY need your blood!
returned from visiting the Cho's. weird dogs who disregarded my presence and xiaoheis. lol adorable kids, till she cries when xiaohei was able to do more spins on the hoola-hoops than her.
=.=
17th Jan '09 went for SBMY's post-camp orientation. here, we have a photo of zhenglin's fatherly behaviour. too bad it didn't show me carrying him afterwards. hahaha
22nd Jan '09 P.O.P parade, the day which we have been waiting for since the day of our enlistment (next, ORD?) almost everyone were making last minute preparations...for me, polishing my boots :D
i'm loving you still. i will change for the better.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
reminisce
thinking back on all the things i've done, i seriously do need help on handling things.
as promised to myself, i'm going to do a deep search into my own personality and find my own faults. it has caused too much problems and made me lose the most important thing in my life.
i don't wish it to happen anymore, also i want to salvage everything.
till then, i'm a silent cop.
as promised to myself, i'm going to do a deep search into my own personality and find my own faults. it has caused too much problems and made me lose the most important thing in my life.
i don't wish it to happen anymore, also i want to salvage everything.
till then, i'm a silent cop.
feeling black
happy chinese new year!
went over to gramps for Bainianing. haha its the first time i felt so close to them. i think one becomes more sensible towards the importance of the family tree as he or she grows older.
had my grandads famous Kong Ba Pau. been waiting longggggggggg for it.
anyway, my emotions are still black at them moment. :D
360 degrees change. x))
went over to gramps for Bainianing. haha its the first time i felt so close to them. i think one becomes more sensible towards the importance of the family tree as he or she grows older.
had my grandads famous Kong Ba Pau. been waiting longggggggggg for it.
anyway, my emotions are still black at them moment. :D
360 degrees change. x))
Sunday, January 25, 2009
holding on
i'll just hold on and let things go its own way (: till then, i'm glad we're still on talking terms. haha!
yesterday was miserable. went out around 12am, met vicky and the rest at CHIJMES. slacked ard, shared sad stories and well, i realised this isn't the end and why was i so miserable and felt like giving up.
gawd sake, i'm a thinking officer. i'd rather solve the problem than run away.
and the problem is...myself.
anyway, happy chinese new year to everyone!
yesterday was miserable. went out around 12am, met vicky and the rest at CHIJMES. slacked ard, shared sad stories and well, i realised this isn't the end and why was i so miserable and felt like giving up.
gawd sake, i'm a thinking officer. i'd rather solve the problem than run away.
and the problem is...myself.
anyway, happy chinese new year to everyone!
Friday, January 23, 2009
YES.
the only photos i could spare from "the Butterfly effect", the band was a last minute and a temporary thing for the P.O.P dinner performance. nevertheless, i enjoyed performing with the guys and it was wonderful. Foxtrot!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
i realised my blog has no updated photos of whats happening around me at all for a long long time.
busy, busy, busy.
P.O.P parade today. best trainees screwed up, mark time screwed up by a quarter and my hands were numb.
i guess the highlight of the whole parade would be the Besurai when we all shouted P.o.P.O!
4 months training and off we go, headed to our individual vocation postings.
darling was supposedly pissed off over some people, but she laughed it off afterwards. recover so fast eh, you. haha! loves!
going off now, meeting V and the rest of the jhana gang.
dam, its good to be home. loving you and being loved by you (:
busy, busy, busy.
P.O.P parade today. best trainees screwed up, mark time screwed up by a quarter and my hands were numb.
i guess the highlight of the whole parade would be the Besurai when we all shouted P.o.P.O!
4 months training and off we go, headed to our individual vocation postings.
darling was supposedly pissed off over some people, but she laughed it off afterwards. recover so fast eh, you. haha! loves!
going off now, meeting V and the rest of the jhana gang.
dam, its good to be home. loving you and being loved by you (:
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
P.O.P
4 months, its over!
P.O.P dinner performance was a blast. received many praises and positive comments. wohoo! its been a wonderful night, Foxtrot. till then, we'll meet again!
P.O.P dinner performance was a blast. received many praises and positive comments. wohoo! its been a wonderful night, Foxtrot. till then, we'll meet again!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
reaching jhana!
and so alls well, that ends well. i'm glad things worked out :D happyface
wasn't feeling very well today either, think i really do have a slight fever.
wasn't feeling very well today either, think i really do have a slight fever.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
the ending
like what nicole described me, i often only regret when things are gone from my life.
like seriously, this whole matter, i have been the insensitive one and always taking everything for granted.
i didn't want to upset you, i didn't want to make you unhappy...many times you gave in to me, trying hard not to dissapoint me but while doing so, i dissapointed you just as you were trying to make me happy.
i regret my actions, i regret what i've said, i regret what i've done. you had your regrets too and i am the reminder of the past. i love you, i never expected all this and i definetly wasn't trying to be a dickhead though i know i am one.
i love you still, and i still do. i just can't bear to see you walk out of my life...i don't want...i don't wish to.
my love, i want you to stay with me. endure a little longer and i'll change my ways. please.
like seriously, this whole matter, i have been the insensitive one and always taking everything for granted.
i didn't want to upset you, i didn't want to make you unhappy...many times you gave in to me, trying hard not to dissapoint me but while doing so, i dissapointed you just as you were trying to make me happy.
i regret my actions, i regret what i've said, i regret what i've done. you had your regrets too and i am the reminder of the past. i love you, i never expected all this and i definetly wasn't trying to be a dickhead though i know i am one.
i love you still, and i still do. i just can't bear to see you walk out of my life...i don't want...i don't wish to.
my love, i want you to stay with me. endure a little longer and i'll change my ways. please.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
A rushy post. VERY.
rushing for time now so i'll just pop something which i consider to be awkward.
taxi driver: (on the topic of traffic control at little india) yeah..so to sum it up, singapore police is really no use one lah...
me: yeah... (stares at ns identity card) yeah.. >.>
didn't said much, won't say much and shall not comment on this.
taxi driver: (on the topic of traffic control at little india) yeah..so to sum it up, singapore police is really no use one lah...
me: yeah... (stares at ns identity card) yeah.. >.>
didn't said much, won't say much and shall not comment on this.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
the feeling of emptiness, friends are the source of crazy energies.
got home from jamming today. all the while, i've been feeling shagged over many things. a little upsetness over my own brooding of things.
deja vu.
anyway, spent the night at vickys house. didn't feel like going home anyway...was feeling miserable and down. good thing i kept it in or i would have been super annoying. woke up at 8am, stared at kevin's IBM for a few hours.
kevin woke up at 12, dragged him down for breakfast and headed for L Cube for Jamming. went home afterthat, which is where i am right now, sitting in front of the computer.
booking in awhile, its boring.
a photo for cheers,
Reaching Jhana
deja vu.
anyway, spent the night at vickys house. didn't feel like going home anyway...was feeling miserable and down. good thing i kept it in or i would have been super annoying. woke up at 8am, stared at kevin's IBM for a few hours.
kevin woke up at 12, dragged him down for breakfast and headed for L Cube for Jamming. went home afterthat, which is where i am right now, sitting in front of the computer.
booking in awhile, its boring.
a photo for cheers,
Reaching Jhana
Friday, January 2, 2009
Thursday, January 1, 2009
its 2009? so soon?
oh wow look, 2008 just wheezed past.
not so much of an exciting year for me, actually.
had a performance at PKS. had to say we merely scraped thru for the 2nd performance, everyone was like wow even though i was skeptic at the results when we just exited the stage. great thanks to the motivators, who made the whole thing so alive.
and kudos to Reaching Jhana, we'll reach there one day. haha!
though my girlfriend doesn't tell me everything nor mention me all the time, i miss her and i love her. and i tell her everything.
i love my family. my mom and dad, my sisters...i mean you guys were great...dad, you didn't complain at all when i used up all my NS salary to pay off my debts and such you know...and you even gave me some allowance to scrap thru...thanks alot...you're the greatest..you never complain about the hardships and you love us as much as you love mom, we know that (: and mom, thanks for everything you've done for the family. though its not significant to some people (who seem to take it for granted most of the time), i appreciate and am grateful for all the sweat you've put in for the family.
in short, i love both of you, mom, dad. (: shall end this post with a happy new year, behold, my Closet Fortress.
not so much of an exciting year for me, actually.
had a performance at PKS. had to say we merely scraped thru for the 2nd performance, everyone was like wow even though i was skeptic at the results when we just exited the stage. great thanks to the motivators, who made the whole thing so alive.
and kudos to Reaching Jhana, we'll reach there one day. haha!
though my girlfriend doesn't tell me everything nor mention me all the time, i miss her and i love her. and i tell her everything.
i love my family. my mom and dad, my sisters...i mean you guys were great...dad, you didn't complain at all when i used up all my NS salary to pay off my debts and such you know...and you even gave me some allowance to scrap thru...thanks alot...you're the greatest..you never complain about the hardships and you love us as much as you love mom, we know that (: and mom, thanks for everything you've done for the family. though its not significant to some people (who seem to take it for granted most of the time), i appreciate and am grateful for all the sweat you've put in for the family.
in short, i love both of you, mom, dad. (: shall end this post with a happy new year, behold, my Closet Fortress.
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