a Random Smile

Something worth sharing.

I was on the phone with my girlfriend while boarding my bus home at AMK earlier on and this chubby guy greeted me, "Hi," with an expression that seemed to say, "Long time no see!"

Apparently, I had no idea who this guy was and I made no effort to return the courtesy. After I took my seat @ the back of the bus, he seem to be embarrassed, probably due to the fact that I made him look like a fool for saying hi to a stranger.

I did a quick assessment of what just happened. Nope, he is no aquaintance of mine and this was what I did :

As he stood up and prepared to alight from the bus for his stop, he turned his head into my direction, with a look of hope.

I smiled and gave him a wave.
He waved back and smiled.

A smile that concluded my day with good spirits.

the fire!

I have a new idol :D

digging nails

time to have a nice nap...all the hullabaloo thats been going on about my house. smack and wack.

I didn't get to eat the ramen

And CEP'09 is officially over. The 4 days 3 nights camp which I've been looking forward to since the start of this year (I also reserved 3 days of my leave since march just for it) was a complete success. Sure, there were many ups and downs and rushes at some points but the learning experience was worth it. Needless to say, I got sunburnt pretty badly as well.

Now that CEP' 09 is over, its time to look forward to the next one. Prepare for it!

trembling hands

I used to laugh and scoff @ them. Now, I see a different light.

i laughed at myself

Alls well, that ends well. I can still remember the big book of stories I used to read back in my primary school days.

It was a pretty bad day to sum it up, but I had quite a bit of fun driving the fork lift around the crab farm. The steering is different from a normal car steering so hopefully, it won't screw up my driving skills. Baby learnt the basics of pool today, looking forward to play with her someday :D

Bad mood, easily agitated. No sleep, I guess.

i learnt to use chopsticks since 4

so I woke up early for nothing...

we meet again..conveyor belt!

Got home not long ago. Baby's dad got into hospital over some car accident. From what I gathered, the condition isn't that bad and it should be ok. Just a week of observation. Get well soon, uncle.

Gotta leave for my team dinner soon. I wonder where the hell is the place.

drag

I think I slept too much today. Oh man. gotta prepare to go far east in awhile.

you're doing it the wrong way

and you don't even realise it. All I can do is sit back, watch and laugh at your antics. It is perfectly normal life for you, just what you do all day...but I can't help, but laugh.

I found a couple of old photos that I feel like uploading here.

the conveyor belt can kill

I did say I don't mind but you left on your own accord. I can't possibly lament and Despair for the rest of my life, can't I?


Nevermind the short span of time, that doesn't matter at all. Time, is just an excuse.

Its dam bloody shiny

cleaned up my blog a little. Couldn't sleep and I can't sleep. Oh man.

veto

its a sunday, I woke up late.

-wakes up-
me: wow..beautiful morning...

Clock: 0651

Me: SHIT.


and yeah. I was late for work today.

TGIF, time to polish my boots

Its friday and its our first month of being together.

My Dearest Gf, though it is only the first month, life has been bliss and happiness with you.
You make me smile all the time, never have you ever put me down for anything. If I made a mistake, you will laugh it off and correct me in a most humorous way that I can only go, aww.
Your smiles and giggles can light up even the darkest corners of my life.
You never criticized me.
You never chide me directly.
You are beautiful.

I love you.

But I know la, all of you going to say, 1 month nia.
but yea, whatever Q('-'Q)


and I grow mushrooms in my heart.

fingers frosty!

It might be awhile but I think it'll be O.K. Nowadays, I've been getting the feeling of deja vu more and more often. Its something private so I won't put it out here on where I got them.

I wonder whats going to happen next month. I always get this nonsensical instinct feel that something ridiculous is going to happen a month before. Camp. Perhaps.

Been going out alot these days. Went to fetch my gf off from work last night.
looking great as ever! love you!

Time to fry some rice.

onion rings and rice, nice dinner

I can't be bothered on someone who made no effort to make things better. Although your so called efforts were only devastating the whole point of a r/s.

suck thumb. Because, everyone has their limits.




And I'm happy!

fried rice, good

I think I'm going insane on laughing.

a meat pie's dream

Often I would wander off in my thoughts and come up with something ridiculous.
Never mind that the conclusion was often senseless and useless. To that, I give myself a smack on the back and a toast to a dreamer's dream. Perhaps I might find my precious pen inside the back of my shoes.

Still, life is always beautiful to look at from a different angle.
I scratch my head.

the clocks ticking

i feel like dozing off...

ramen dang

sometimes i don't know if i should laugh hysterically or just laugh.

work last night was pretty much of a breeze, with a surprise visit and thanks to that, I was fully awake for the rest of the nights. geez.

baby didn't sleep well for 3 consecutive nights (I wouldn't call it sleep since you hardly slept at all!) please please don't fall sick. I think I am more worried than you are worried about me and I think we're gonna argue about this and it'll end with me giving in LOL

in anycase, its going to be a beautiful day. go gai gai.
shes probably sleeping now. ah hahahaha

<3

longs for an update, but i had been very slacked off for the past few days. going out, going out, sending my gf home from work. zero days of boredom (other than work that is).

Audition for EOY '09. I can't say I wasn't nervous because I WAS surprisingly. Still, the studio they used for the auditions. man, i am so going to go back there for practice sessions.
It went pretty well and everyone was happy. just imagine, almost a year of constant practice just for that and that was the conclusion of it.

Having a sore throat already. dam.

So I went to far east with baby for shopping. bought myself a long sleeve while she herself bought more than 5 pieces of clothes. Went to watch paranormal with the rest of the SBM gang afterwards.

time for some borderlands (:

It was horror and spooky alright. but other than that, quite fake. The only part that I got spooked out was when the girl got dragged off the bed. The ending sort of spoiled all the efforts of making the clip look like a real recording. quite worth the 10 bucks anyway.

....

jialat today.

haha thanks!

baby bought me a birthday present!







the first beverage,




thanks sweet love for the present, i like it alot (: it'll be the cup that hydrates me daily.

time was slow today at work. extremely slow. every minute seemed to be an hour. ok so the month from october to november seemed to have slowed to a crawl. don't know why either but its kind of torturing and also bliss as well. hahaha

ok, back to my room.

LOVE 27th

我渴望。。一个容身之处。 says (10:40 PM):
*i jsut asked davin to join my christian band
*he ji tao gan me

Soul Resonance - 7 weeks never touch guitar liao says (10:40 PM):
*?
*smlj i where got kan u
*i say consider right

我渴望。。一个容身之处。 says (10:41 PM):
*we form 二世界la
*lol
*hahahaha

pearson eckhard justus. says (10:41 PM):
*hahaha
*people holy we cultist
*wtf

short bursts

alright i woke up pretty late today and its crap. i thought the weather was going to be all rainy but it turned out to be just a short shower. damit.

off to work now. miss my baby~

i finally found it

slept for 3 hours before i woke up and took over my mate. He didn't sleep, at all. Phone, PSP, stare into space and knock off from work =.= hahaha that's gerald for you.

so i got home an hour later, decided to take bus 8 with my colleagues and dropped off opposite my house. To tell the truth, even though i had 3 hours of slack, i was feeling worse than ever. So i flipped open my phone, had a look at my wallpaper and i smiled. OK, I'm back to normal.

jumped into bed immediately when i got home to my room. no worries, I'm changing the sheets already so no prob about the no-bath issue. woke up at 1345hours. Dad and Mom went off to the factory and I'm here, looking for food.

looking forward to a few weeks time, I can't help but smile everyday now. Its bliss. aww

yeah and i miss my baby! <3

Desperate Angel!

so right now i'm passing time by reading story books. already finished the big bowl of fried rice mom made for dinner.

i don't think i can really do anything seriously till next month. My mind is pretty half-assed at the moment and it seems like a big storm is coming this way. holy shit.

back to drumming.

Borobudur

yawn. baby msged me in the morning to wake her up at 9 but i only saw the message at 1016hours...lol hahaha we both had the wake up voices and it was freaking hilarious.

going to bring ah gong and ah ma to sentosa tomorrow along with some of my cousins. entertain them. ah hahaha.
things have been going very smooth. it'll be smoother as time goes by.

and i'm 20 years old already. no longer a teenager. time to act and think like an adult.



its because you're always a pessimist, that is why things don't go your way.

and this is how it all began...

<3

You have successfully received C:\Users\pearTHEson\Documents\My Received Files\DSC03758.jpg f*om Kevin.

pearson eckhard justus. says (1:05 AM):
*wtf ghost
*why give me a cock photo of her
*smth nice leh
*LOL

Kevin says (1:05 AM):
*im going to pull your dick and cut it


pearson eckhard justus. says (1:05 AM):
*hahaha jk la

bunny girl

beautiful day, cute and adorable bunny ears :D

i love my baby (:

no sleep, poke power

Life is short, i gotta move on. I tried my best, but nothing worked out before. Quoted from loco, it is the compatibility issue. It was quite awhile and it was beautiful. But it is the past now.

as Friends...we can't even talk, what else?


sending my gf to work afterwards. its a friday!

its a beautiful 27

i think today was the most horrible day with nothing to do at home at all. i woke up feeling rather vexed over whats going to happen at work tonight.
anyway, i met my gf the night before. seeing you brightened my mood tremendously. thanks baby (:

this is the way i roll, like it or not. it ain't my problem....

love happens!

my bassist showed me this video on youtube:







i quit drums. LOL

a new glimmer of hope

thanks to Kaiwen and Wenshi, the early birthday present in the shape of a donut. Tasty, ate it. But I'm keeping the box. thanks !

Another sleepless night. unhappy with blogger, the bloody text toolbar is still missing. zzz...oh wait, i'm not sleepy.

Shift starts in 4 hours time, i guess i won't be sleeping for the night as well.
My phone update is taking DAM long. Ok, just the backup part. To update, all my stored data files worth 8gb will be gone after the update service. Hence, the need for a backup.

and dang, it just froze again for the 5th time. damit damit damit.

pfft, shall make myself a hot milo and do some situps.

if anyone is awake and reading this or was awake at this hour, i said hi. there, i'm being nice.

HI.

so i was awake, trying to figure the big chunk of memory loss from my computer's hard drive or rather, whatever ancients that was installed and i lost track of it.
no success at all..

had a cup of milo and about to sleep now. my work starts at 1430 hours. i don't get the reason why some people like to make a huge fuss over the way i describe time. i mean c'mon, i'm used to describing time that way at work that it becomes a habit everywhere i go so live with it.

thank you for all the corrections you had done for me. i'm sure it will help me in the long run, all the best.

blogger is still having errors on the toolbar. sometimes it was there and sometimes it isn't. geez.

ima lie down on the bed and dream.

scratch scratch

video was made for the substitute drummer of the band. hes standing in for the time being as i can't make it for the audition. a little mistake here and there...but he'll get the idea...

Fear is the absence of courage

I wonder why people fear the dark. The unseen, the unencountered or those that we do not wish to know.

People get scared easily. The only thing I can comment on is that, they watch too many horror movies. When the impression of what the Unseen is being exaggerated, they imagine. Dark spots, they cannot see, they start imagining the possibilities that could happen. A head, hand, bloodied head hanging, eye balls flying around (that'd be cool though), a hand out of nowhere comes scratching at your balls, anything!

grab a cuppa and chill. I think i'm more worried about possible robbers or whatever evils the mortals can do.

aye, cookies and chips, always the best.

Yang

late nights...this could be a problem.

some people never change...

i knew you, ever since i did an average profiling glance over you, 2 nights ago you brought nicole to my condo. and i knew, you haven't changed a bit. Nice try there, it was your fathers car. no, nicole didn't tell me that, i knew it myself even before you told me that your 'dad bought it for you'.

thank god she isn't as gullible as you thought her to be. what the hell do you think you were doing? you see her as a substitute just because you couldn't get another girl? you're more of a loser than i am. To think you even sent me a holier than thou message.

i'm not surprised bro...some people...never change...

A . V . P

pearson eckhard justus. says (9:50 AM):

*i thought your payday is 11th?

ϟ Nest says (9:50 AM):

*not 10

*no its on the 10

pearson eckhard justus. says (9:50 AM):

*then it should be here

pearson eckhard justus. says (9:51 AM):

*did you check last night

ϟ Nest says (9:51 AM):

*i just checked like now

pearson eckhard justus. says (9:51 AM):

*wah wtf

*mindef

*thats mindef for you

*LOL

ϟ Nest says (9:52 AM):

*wtf sia the online saf portal already got my payslip lol

pearson eckhard justus. says (9:52 AM):

*did they state when they'll credit the amount?

ϟ Nest says (9:53 AM):

*nope LOL

*wai

*wait

*only got date

*no time

pearson eckhard justus. says (9:54 AM):

*when is the date?

ϟ Nest says (9:55 AM):

*10 oct 2009

pearson eckhard justus. says (9:55 AM):

*then i think its today

*11pm

*zai zai

pearson eckhard justus. says (9:56 AM):

*see, SPF admin more efficient

ϟ Nest says (9:56 AM):

*wtf soo late

pearson eckhard justus. says (9:56 AM):

*hahahaha

some things are ok, some things just arn't

my hands are frosty and my body quite stiff. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed again.

have to leave the house by 12 for HTA. hope i'll get a good meal before that.

many things had happened during the past 2 weeks. Don't really wish to elaborate but to me its just something small. I can really practice ignorance.

anyway, claudine got into the force! wow dam, its just so hard to picture a dancer in blue uniform. haha! congratulations lady!

time to search for food. once my allowance comes, i am going on an eating spree.

eclipse

what have i been doing for the past 19 years?

CURRENT MOOD

no progress made today, i think I've just hit a brick wall. To be able to climb over it, I need a boost. A real big one.

And I know just the remedy and the people to administer it.

don't make a promise if you know you can't keep it

I was sipping on my soya bean by the pool benches downstairs 2 hours ago, exploring the data i've gathered for the vandalism case that happened in the basement. No prizes for the obvious but the culprit could have been anyone. But thats another story.

Shifting from gear 5 to Neutral. I wonder whats up next, with currently no direction to follow. I was feeling tired actually, but I discovered something and my emotions eventually spiraled downwards.

I am amazed I can still stand and laugh at myself in the mirror.

deep thoughts

once again, i'm troubled over my personal problems. whatever happened to the text tool bar of blogger?

if it'll ever solve things again or not, don't let it be this way.
i won't rant anymore.

if it ever will

this is the shittiest moment of my life. after being bombed by a warhead, i was stabbed left right centre.

just what is everyones fucking problem.

running low on battery

woke up quite early for today, time check is 0455 hours. couldn't sleep, can't wait.

picked up a couple of used books at the lift area of my home. a resident left it there in a small box, with a piece of paper pasted on it that says, "Please help yourselves to these books but leave the box for me to reuse".

i don't care how people view me, for picking up books that people no longer have any use for, call me a scavenger. Books are knowledge, till it is completely destroyed / due to wear and tear, it is still a book that can be read.

The books that this guy left there were books on culture, psychology and nations of the past. Nice, these were the kind of books that i have never touched before in my entire life till now. It isn't entirely interesting to the likes of many but, something to keep me entertained for the time being.


oh, and i took all 8 of them. selfish but i can't risk the janitor throwing them away the next morning. if the box is gone, i'll put a new carton box in another place with the words, "heres a new box for anyone with books to offer, its a more conspicuous location."

something to share, enjoy the music.

organise

1) book my driving practical
2) save money
3) save money
4) go shop for new clothes
5) prepare drumline for songs for new year countdown!
6) continue studying

more to come, i won't stop here.

Pata pon don chaka

Without you, i could never had understood myself. You brought joy to my life, just maybe not the other way round. Come back sometime, i would love to have your company and appreciate it wholeheartedly.

my left hand is shaking

i looked back a couple of times and went, wow. So this is the color of love, or was it just outright jealousy i feel? the fear of losing someone to another someone. Perhaps the reason for that is because that person is better than me and i hate feeling that way.

but i must say, it is the first time i'm getting such a feeling. it won't go away.
many of you people keep telling me that it fades as time passes by.
for a short while, it didn't. i doubt it will in future. Even as i moved on, it'll still be there.

i guess the only way i can respond to this is to give my well wishes. Nothing more i can do, just hope for the best, hope for the best for you.

And if fate permits (which sometimes is bullshit), our paths might cross again.

loving you. all the time.

here to blog. not exactly feeling moody or down at the moment. thanks for all the concern brothers.

i wish i have a nice comfy couch by the beach, with a coconut in hand. wind blowing and the sun setting.

that would have been wonderful.

grow up

move along now...move along.

cock and a half. how now, you tell me. HOW.

teh past

with each passing night, i grew tired of staring at the clock.

the beloved, the loved and the precious

suppose i dedicate a message for someone? maybe not since it won't really help much in the situation.

what to do now. sigh yo.

menthol

do unto what you don't want others to do to you.

i am not a victim, neither are you one. it takes 2 hands to clap.
why can't you understand. no, maybe you don't.
i don't know whats going on these days.

i'm hanging on the edge, hoping not to fall. to lose sight of you.

oh why oh why, couldn't things just be fine.

this is not a poem btw.

copy and paste

happy enough to have heard your voice.

mystical bombardment

So i reached work at around 7.15am, only to realise that i left out something that made me insecure for the whole morning. While waiting for the doods to plan something for the night (or decide if we're meeting out later in the evening), i am here to blog.

Things have been quite a breeze these few days. I won't really compare my work shifts with the usual 9 to 5 timing since the job scope of the two are completely different. What we had to endure were grumpy people who seemed to have woken up on the wrong side of the bed.

While i was doing some blog hopping, i came across a blog belonging to my ex- NPCC senior.
A relationship cannot be measured by the amount of time spent together.

I can still remember the inspirational poster framed up at my dads office.
It takes months to find a customer, seconds to lose one.

I suppose this applies to everything in life. Hardwork and effort cannot be replaced with smart aleck deductions totally.
I will always remember what i've gone though, what we have gone through and what you went through with me.
At the end of each day, its still down to the both of us.

i love you and i will always treasure you.

Thus ends a 'kind' of post which i have not done so for a long long time.

prowling, time check over. reporting situation normal, over.
Hand Over Duty.

zildjian

i'm pretty much speechless nowadays.

up down up down

the bonding event was a blast. rather than a camp, i'd say ton.

night time, probably not the kind of thing that most of the youths would do.

thinking. not thinking. thinking.

get me some paracetamol.

rusty nails must be oiled

i looked up to him, i asked.

i used to find him insensible. different era, different generation. he never understood.

but he does because he is my Dad.

4 to 6 asteriks...

never understood...do not really care anyway. hmm...

hanabi

let it be 10 degrees.

a conversation with a cab driver is pointless

going going...gone.

its either i do a 370 degree change or i'm losing her.

now, choose.

wrist pains on rainy days

i had people coming up to me telling me that i had trouble with them in the past. some school that i know of but had never ever even gone to that school or know anyone from there!

my face, is getting common. sigh

swined

two ulcers at the back of my mouth. excellent.

ate nasi lemak, vomitted everything out 2 hrs later. went to the wrong timbre.
swell day.

i'm ashamed of the inconsiderate singaporeans.

*haha

*anw

*congrats now u attract china ppl xD

pearson. says (10:03 PM):

*thats like

*no plus at all

*lol

xevioso says (10:03 PM):

*yeap

*hahahah

pearson. says (10:03 PM):

*i want to attract u

*):

xevioso says (10:03 PM):

*haha

pearson. says (10:03 PM):

*say you're attracted to me

xevioso says (10:03 PM):

*you do

*im attracted to you xD

pearson. says (10:03 PM):

*k i'm blogging this

*LOL

xevioso says (10:03 PM):

*OMG

*NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

xevioso says (10:04 PM):

*NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

*:(

i like to have a lanyard on my neck.

some people just take too long to realise a fact. a fact that many guys know, but chose to take it for granted.

i'm never going to commit the same mistake again. hopefully.
gf is at classes. misses.

lately i've been busy lazying around [ref. tagboard]

raining heavily today. tried to shelter myself with an umbrella but the wind blew and dam it the lower part of my body got wet. along with my firearms. zzz

last resort was to put on the raincoat which was pretty nasty. 5 years of uncleaned piece of crap. ahh.

got wet from the rain, head to toe. feeling a lil sick now.

what is wrong with the internet these days.

SBMY's blog labeled as a spam blog by google's spam bot detectors?
first the interface is screwed up, then now this.

anyway, what right do i have to complain. we're all using a free service. i just hope this whole thing gets rectified as soon as possible. it'll be one less pain in the ass among all the other annoying things that i've been having lately.

DXS™ is back. finally. after a years absence. gotta hand it off to the guys behind the scenes. have to reach the venue by 1145 to help with the setup.

we got a new junior on our team today. shall not comment much, my colleagues and i are having the same perspectives regarding this.

deeply regret that i could not go down to SBM to personally help out with the manpower, after all my talking and mass sent messages. sigh.

miss my girl, again. as always (: beautiful & sweet.

I AM PROUD OF MY GIRLFRIEND. VERY.

blogger is still screwed up. i'm starting to think theres something very wrong with my browser instead.
w/e, tiring day.
miss my girl.


dhamma talk on saturday, attending or helping out, we need volunteers!

and there used to be 10 suns...till chuck norris came and... *roundhse kicked*

everythings back to normal!

blogger is getting from bad to worse

above all else, i'm alive.
as long as i'm alive and kicking, with time, things can be solved.

i need you back in my life.

the goat cup

and somethings were meant for only a moment. well w/e.

maybe the star should dissapear.

would i still? yeah i would. still waiting for you to come back. someday.

my shoes are married to my slippers.

time machines don't exist.

its over. but i will always remember you.

hope you'll get well soon...

you have opened a new tab

rather than to keep commenting about others, i should look into myself first before i judge others.

my attitude towards life had been wrong all the way...

when your weekends never come...

i miss my girlfriend ):

where'd my books go?

this was the can of soya beverage i bought for a dollar at a nearby vending machine. i got up from my chair to collect some papers from a metal drawer, went back to my table, only to see that my drink was cruelly destroyed by a bee which flew in and was having a fun time tasting the soya. [no it wasn't dead, it flew out an hour later]

hence, no soya for the night ):

on a certain someday, some of us went for some paintball. some of us posed for a photo.

with a god watching over us

moms birthday

my food:

my mom:

the birthday lady

for taking care of me in every way, even when you're angry at me. love was not expressed through words, but through actions. i love you mom.

my dad:

many many commitments, juggling between family, religious work and his business [ and as a police officer in the past].

you're the greatest dad i've ever known.

my sister:

the pretty and modern sister of mine. lolol

my eldest sister:

eldest and caring sister of mine

no pictures of me, impossible to camwhore at a place like that. haha its a pretty darn good place to eat as well, only expensive. buffet spread, with crab claws available every 10 to 15 min. food, pretty superb. k i'm tired.

its been a year and 3 months of me my girlfriend being together. come to think of it, time flies by pretty fast. many things happened along the way and it wasn't easy to overcome them. its been quite some time, but lets relive the magic when we first started and maintain the flame (:

lots of love to my dearest girlfriend <3

insanity streak, for now.

19 years of my life, i had so many ups and downs.

i was truly wondering if i had done something wrong recently, or was it that i did not spend more time with you when this was a period of time that you needed me.

i have to start realising my mistakes from now on. many times in my life, i had been told of my wrongdoings. i reckon that's why i won't change.

to be told and to realise by oneself, its completely different.

well, that's just being me. my habit of talking about my own problems on my blog.

my colleague thinks all male bloggers are gays.

in anycase, i'm still very much in love with my girlfriend.

remembered an old song i was always listening with my cassette player when i was younger. thanks to kaiwen for the reminder.

girlfriend is busy with school these days. hope she'll have a better day tomorrow. i have faith in you my girl, do your best! love you!

where are my curry noodles?

Dinner with girlfriend (:

when your saturdays = no saturdays at all

got home 30 min ago. living room was filled with sister's friends. working colleagues maybe.

ok, SLACK.

when in doubt, read the instructions manual.

laugh out louds, some funny contradicting shits do happen sometimes.

I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND.

they need Type A blood donors

HSA messaged me yesterday afternoon, saying that their blood bank for type A blood is running low.

so i'll be heading down to HSA in the morning after my night duty to do some blood donation [that'll be tomorrow morning, lol] if anyone would like to join me, just text me a message and let me know.

i doubt anyone would tag along. its too early for kaiwen [you have school?] and i don't know who else would dare to do blood donation.

and i simply love to eat my meals with the chicken bowl!

ok, time to go get some food.

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[END OF AD]

it has always been round.

true, i was really being an idiot. feeling grumpy was not an excuse, i should have exercised self control. i suppose thats one of my bad habits. but hey, whats done is done. its not going benefit anyone if i just keep harping on what went wrong...

i'm looking to the brighter side now. to you, i'm sorry for the shit treatment i've given you the day before and you totally do not deserve it. it was a smack out of the blue when you were putting in effort to meet me earlier and i was just being a jackass whining on the smallest details.

hope you'll feel better today. have to rush off for sbm now.

happyness

staring into the night sky, dragging on my lollipop.


so many stars.

morning blues

my phone is screwed up. just when i so needed it at the moment.
i'm still trying to complete my particulars list for team ananda. really have to rush it before tomorrow.

its either a bright or gloomy day. i hope it rains (:

its the pinch!

schools have started for my girl. its back to all the schoolwork and many many things that i don't wish to reminisce about my old school days.

so many people are down with flu. my shift team had 1 down, the other going for a h1n1 checkup tomorrow since his cousin was tested positive for that bloody virus.

lets hope no deaths will be announced till this curse dies away.

i feel a dam hard pinch.

<3 my girl.

enrich your inspiration, color your groove.

i've always thought my blog had very few visitors, or so it seemed. *deep thoughts*

lol lol lol lol lol lol

the personality of master chief just took things to a whole new level. i was entrusted with a responsibility that i could not/cannot reject. my mind was pretty blank when that news fell onto my lap.

at that moment, my normal self would have gone, " huh? but...i don't know leh..."
but that day, was special. my other self, was awake.


i took on the responsibility immediately.
much to my own surprise.


down to daily events, returned from my overnight shift.
gosh, missed my girl. ):

Laughable Insanity

i accept all challenges.
on a seperate note,

to understand an individual, is to accept who he/she is.

oh where oh where, is my gf ):

its a 29 min long song

Desert Rose
Why do you live alone
If you are sad
I'll make you leave this life
Are you white, blue or bloody red
All I can see is drowning in cold grey sand

The winds of time
You knock me to the ground
I'm dying of thirst
I wanna run away
I don't know how to set me free to live
My mind cries out feeling pain

I've been roaming to find myself
How long have I been feeling endless hurt
Falling down, rain flows into my heart
In the pain I'm waiting for you
Can't go back
No place to go back to
Life is lost, Flowers fall
If it's all dreams
Now wake me up
If it's all real
Just kill me

I'm making the wall inside my heart
I don't wanna let my emotions get out
It scares me to look at the world
Don't want to find myself lost in your eyes
I tried to drown my past in grey
I never wanna feel more pain
Ran away from you without saying any words
What I don't wanna lose is love

Through my eyes
Time goes by like tears
My emotion's losing the color of life
Kill my heart
Release all my pain
I'm shouting out louder
Insanity takes hold over me

Turning away from the wall
Nothing I can see
The scream deep inside
reflecting another person in my heart
He calls me from within
"All existence you see before you
must be wiped out :
Dream, Reality, Memories,
and Yourself"

I begin to lose control of myself
My lust is so blind, destroys my mind
Nobody can stop my turning to madness
No matter how you try to hold me in your heart
Why do you wanna raise these walls
I don't know the meaning of hatred
My brain gets blown away hearing words of lies
I only want to hold your love

Stab the dolls filled with hate
Wash yourself with their blood
Drive into the raging current of time
Swing your murderous weapon into the belly
"the earth"
Shout and start creating confusion
Shed your blood for pleasure
And what? For love?
What am I supposed to do?

I believe in the madness called "Now"
Past and future prison my heart
Time is blind
But I wanna trace my love
on the wall of time, over pain in my heart
Art of life
Insane blade stabbing dreams
Try to break all truth now
But I can't heal this broken heart in pain
Cannot start to live, Cannot end my life
Keep on cry

Close my eyes
Time breathes I can hear
All love and sadness
melt in my heart


Dry my tears
Wipe my bloody face
I wanna feel me living my life
outside my walls

You can't draw a picture of yesterday, so
You're painting your heart with your blood
You can't say "No"
Only turning the wheel of time
with a rope around your neck
You build a wall of morality and take a breath
from between the bricks
You make up imaginary enemies and are chased by them
You're trying to commit suicide
You're satisfied with your prologue
Now you're painting your first chapter black
You are putting the scraps of life together
and trying to make an asylum for yourself
You're hitting a bell at the edge of the stage
and
You are trying to kill me

I believe in the madness called "Now"
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart
Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I haven't found what I'm looking for
Art of life
I try to stop myself
But my heart goes to destroy the truth
Tell me why
I want the meaning of my life
Do I try to live, Do I try to love
in my dream

I'm breaking the wall inside my heart
I just wanna let my emotions get out
Nobody can stop
I'm running to freedom
No matter how you try to hold me in your world
Like a doll carried by the flow of time
I sacrificed the present moment for the future
I was in chains of memory half-blinded
Losing my heart, walking in the sea of dreams

Close my eyes
Rose breathes I can hear
All love and sadness melt in my heart
Dry my tears
Wipe my bloody face
I wanna feel me living my life
outside my mind

Dreams can make me mad
I can't leave my dream
I can't stop myself
Don't know what I am
What lies are truth?
What truths are lies?

I believe in the madness called "Now"
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart
Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I haven't found what I'm looking for
Art of life
I try to stop myself
But my heart goes to destroy the truth
Tell me why
I want the meaning of my life
Do I try to live? Do I try to love?

Art of life
An Eternal Bleeding heart
You never wanna breathe your last
Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I'm feeling for
A Rose is breathing love
in my life

CHICKEN TERIYAKI.

shall whip up something fast and short, since i'm in a rush for time.

some people understand, some people don't. sometimes i question my own position in the youth group, what have i been doing? have i been really contributing to its growth or am i a just an observer.

down the road, everything just fits in. it became clear, the satisfaction similiar to the completion of a scenic puzzle.

i live on, i solve problems, i break my mysteries and i push aside obstacles.
and i shall do so, again.

so many things are happening around me. people who choose to work in a law firm will have to live their daily lives as bastards and jerks.

now i understand why rowan atkinson grouped them under thieves and pillagers.

dad doesn't want to talk to us about his problems. we're trying to help. now i can only hope and pray.

my glasses are missing

had the worst nightmare last night.

paranoia,

"Reaching Jhana is gone!"
and i was not on good terms with the doods.
oh man.

strawberry

when i needed comfort, i got told i only had myself to blame.

pata pata pata pon

and stars in the shape of hearts, fell from the sky into my palms. i looked at i and i stared for a long time.

it has always been there. i was the worse.

the mother of all cold cut trios and chicken teriyakis

and so everything has been settled, the storm has been calmed. i apologise for my behaviour, brothers.

it is clear, very clear for the both of us and we will not thread past the line.
but do not take my threat lightly, thats all i'm going to say.

OK so lets drop stupid subject. on to other stuffs...
my room is in a total mess. time to pack up and clean it.
night duty later on. sigh ):

you yuan wu fen lol

shall blog about the camp at a later time, don't really have the time now. reached home around 11 plus, washed up, work out abit before i take my lunch and prepared myself for duty at 1430.


mr.asshole mood today again, not enough sleep i guess. haha

its all in a small tin box

i am such a lucky guy.

camp is starting tomorrow.
after all the efforts everyones been putting in, hope it'll be a great camp.

i love my wonderful girlfriend.

asshole mood

ok so yesterday wasn't really a very productive day for me. was supposed to meet the guys at parklane before heading down for lavender but i dozed off on the bed.

woke up, took a train to lavender and walked all the way to juulias place. end up playing tennis and then having a swim.

coming to then swimming part, i overestimated the depth of the pool and now my lower lips is a little bit sore, courtesy trying to swim deep in the pool. well whatever, i hope it doesn't develop into a mouth ulcer.

is it still there? is it?

title doesn't really have to tally with post content, you know?

my nerves got annoyed today by a new guy. not that i really do care, but it went across the limits when he started involving my own personal life.

hey sucker, i am your senior for bloody sake. i only know you for less than 4 hours and you're talking to me like a buddy whom you thought understood your line of jokes. well i am terribly sorry but i did not get your humour when you started pressing your own beliefs and principals onto me.

and before you start preaching on your idea of the word flirting and how you think not respecting a girlfriends status is right, either check the dictionary again or it'll just be me ordering you around.

chances of you discovering this post is pretty small. but who cares. i just need a place to rant on.

camp L.I.O.N.S this coming weekend. i'm keeping myself awake so i won't talk much later, be more slow in doing things so i can analyze the situation before putting forth any action and hopefully get pissed at the new guy and start being Mr Asshole.

whatever, i hope my girlfriend is sleeping well now. sweet dreams to her (:

4 hours 15 min left before my duty commences.